“Each soul looks after what its inner essence asks for”
On these days were shibari has become so popular and there are so many people interested on learning, practicing and enjoying it , I wanted to meditate about what drives us to shibari, and why we do love ropes.
Rope community offers a variety of riggers nowadays. They not only differ in how much they learned, the techniques they master, or their style, but mostly and more importantly in that inner fire that drives them to pick up the ropes. Not all of them have the same motivation to tie.
Lot of words are spoken and written talking about communication through ropes. The phrase 腕は縄、縄は縄 “Ude wa nawa, nawa wa nawa” (The arm is the rope, the rope is the rope) that I’ve heard from Yukimura Haruki Sensei’s lips answering my question about his way and motivation to do shibari during Copenhagen workshop in 2012 (first time Yukimura Haruki Sensei taught outside Japan) and that have been reformulated as “rope as your own arm extension” has been spread everywhere worldwide. Nevertheless sometimes I feel that few people had really grasped its true meaning and many others use it only as a good marketing topic.
I do personally understand good communication as the ability to transmit a message from one person to another in such a way that it could be fully and clearly understood by the other part. Now, what we’re into today is clearly what kind of message we are communicating.
As we said in the beginning there are diverse and varied motivations that may drive a person to practice shibari. A shibari session may aim to, or have different kind of energies according to what rigger proposes, according to his style, his skill, or even based on his/her own personality and his/her inner and intimate search. Many of them do not only use the rope as a communication way for their inner instincts during sessions, but also include a whole lot of things beside it that makes the essence of what they’re after.
There are a big number of riggers that base their drive in creating or reinforcing the asymmetry in the rigger-model relationship. In that way their shibari sessions will be clearly imbued with proposals and situations that aim to reinforce that. Many other will include pain into their proposal, satisfying their sadistic and masochistic drive that they might have. It’s always wise to remember in those cases that good riggers are those who are capable to provoke pain through their ties in a controlled way. In other words, being able to provoke that pain whenever they want and in the same way being able to return to comfortable positions without hurting or leaving any injuries in the process.
There are also many riggers whose drive is based in their need to show new and bold positions, and even new rope structures and proposals that may impact the newbies. Some of them use some advanced techniques learned from different Sensei. Others have no problem in doing trial and error experimentation, exposing their models to unnecessary risks in my opinion, just to show their presumed art. There are a crescent number of photographers among this last group willing to find new and impacting shoots without taking into account what time it takes to learn certain proposals so to be properly done with the proper technique and the needed safety for those who offer themselves as rope models. In many cases those photography scenarios are just like a stage (sometimes even changing or editing the background to something “very Japanese”, like a Japanese house for example) were rope sessions are more acted than really felt, communicating the spectator something more related to a fantasy than the reality per se.
Many other people start their rope path looking after the possibility to perform some rope’s acrobatics. In the same way that with other acrobatic performances they look for new techniques (many times also on trial and error), sometimes on auto suspension and what flying on ropes feels like. The communication we find in this case is clearly related with the mood of the acrobatic proposal and the audience.
Another group of people is driven into shibari by their rope fetish. They’re driven by the way rope looks on their bodies like a wearable piece of fashionable clothing. They love the way color, texture and the intricate repetitive knots look on their skin. In these cases communication only happens on the visual phase, on that particular aesthetic and the fetishistic side, completely in harmony with rigger’s and model’s visual drive, but lacks of the nonverbal communication as it is meant by Japanese masters.
Anyway, all these motivations are valid as long as you don’t harm anyone and you all have fun. Many people are driven by mixed motivations, and during their rigging path they change from one to another.
It’s also true that, as Zetsu Nawa said on one of his last posts, there are lots of egos and show off necessity in worldwide rope community. Those egos do not do shibari per shibari itself. They rather look for the opportunity of their own protagonist role. In that sense I feel some people are not able to separate shibari from “perfect body” nude models that are always a guarantee for success in any social network where you post them. Often shibari quality is left aside in second importance as well as what that proposal communicates, always putting on the first place the popular and stereotypical aesthetic of what is socially accepted as beautiful, sexy and vendible.
At some point I feel happy that I have meditated on that idea finally being able to understand a way to let that protagonism aside. After talking about it with my students we created the first riggers group where the group itself is more important than who integrate it. From it’s very beginning the ShibariAttack group objective was to grant the possibility to participate to anyone respecting their own skills. We also we also welcome models, acrobats, parkourists , music performers, or any other rope lovers artists, just helping us with the logistic or just to cheer us up. This is a clear example where rigger’s role is not as important as the final result in a whole. The main big challenge in that case, that always amazes and drives us, is to perceive ourselves as a whole and to get the communication flow not in the usual one on one way (as in a typical shibari session), but in a fluent and harmonic way within us all as a group. We then start all together, we all are aware of what we as a group provoke to the others, and we finish our proposal with a common energy to everyone involved.
I do also feel that KinbakuMania Shibari Dojo proposals (and also my own proposals) were open to all kind of models and riggers. We have a clear inclusion spirit that goes far beyond words and is reflected in all those works we did along these years without caring about gender, sexual orientations, or stereotypical beauty patterns.
After some years practicing ropes I can feel that my path is something different, something I didn’t see before. Even when I feel that following any of the proposals I’ve mentioned before would be no problem for me (and I do thank all of my Sensei for the priceless teaching I received from them), I feel my rope path a bit more elaborate and complex.
When I first heard about communication, I felt that knowing how to transmit the most common and known sensations through ropes was not the only important thing. I always felt that being able to “listen” what my rope models had to say in that nonverbal communication even before transmitting anything was the key. In that sense I’ve looked after to include other energy flow skills after my ropes skills training. I’ve then added some additional techniques and fundamentals on the oriental understanding of how energy (ki) flows in the nature, in the universe, and in the body. They complemented my style in a very special way understanding that energy flow communication and applying it to ropes.
A whole new world opens upon that, where empathy, muga nawa and communication transcends the physical aspects and involves other emotional aspects many times. Being able to deliver hugs with ropes, being able to touch somebody’s soul by using ropes is something that I’ve experienced and is something that I try to teach to my students. Even before unfolding my first rope my mind turns into a big hypersensitive radar sensing each subtle detail of the model. Many pieces of information that may leave unnoticed for others bring me plenty information about the energy flowing in that person I’m about to share ropes with within his or her “now and here” reality. During that minimum instant of intense communication, a vulnerability sensation may appear for both of us, as we may feel our intimate feelings exposed to each other. It’s very important for me to respect that naked soul at that moment and take care of that “being of light” that trusts in me, by empathizing and taking with pure love what is brought to me.
It becomes then necessary to have the creativity and ability to flow in different types of proposals that assume us together in communion. It’s also important for the model to let go into those sensations so to allow us to flow in that voyage that may in many occasions deeply move profound and hidden aspects of our emotions many times running high.
To put it a bit clearer… I’m not saying my style only implies embracing with ropes, even when it’s one of my favorites. Depending on each case, and upon what my rope partner inspires me, I may let myself flow in many different and distinct aspects too, from something playful, to the erotic, the sadistic, but always from the artistic side.
What is key and fundamental for me in every occasion, is to tune myself with the other person and to let us vibrate together. It’s there were all my shibari kinbaku magic starts.
Unfortunately there is not a simple way to explain how you achieve this, or even how to communicate in such a way with your ropes. Only those who experienced it may tell you about. Sometimes the best way to witness that is to experience it in person at one of our ShibariAttack, Picnics, Events or Open Dojos.
“When student is ready, teacher will come.”